Many things on my mind now....
1)AFT
i must admit I am someone who is of really low ambitions.... i let general laziness dominate my life and i avoid conflict. I have a foul mouth and a bad temper but I only scream at the people whom I'm close to ccause i know they wouldn't mind. Having to take up AFT chairman... scares me.... i'm a pessimist.. a half glass empty person. But you can't be that as a leader. As a leader, you got to make the final call and then take responsibility for all the mistakes and damgage caused. you got to step up and motivate people and you got to wave away your doubt. You have to look at the big picture take intiative and not let the small things get you down. A great leader must also have great charisma and good leadership skills to back it up. Which I lack.. i lack natural charisma.. so i can only make it up in other ways... But I fear that it is not enough so i dun give it my all but I shouldn't make excuses and pave reasons for my failure. I should get my act together.... i cannot run anymore.... and i shldn't let fear rule my mind.
2)School...
idk what i can do anymore
3)everything else silly.....
i think i miss my fancy notions... without you I haven't had anything else to go into default mode.. and i guess i miss it.. on the other hand.. at least i'm not having nights in which my dearest friend is visitng me and i feel like dying anymore... extremities...



scared.....