Monday, October 26, 2009,
Youth is an ever elusive period of time... a time of contradictions and revelations. every little thing can be amplified to seem to be like the end of the world for us. However this could all boil down to the fact that we have boundless energy and an overactive imagination and endless curiosity about everything almost. There are some things that if you don't do during this period of time, you will never do it again be it due to later circumstances or simply not having the energy nor the impulsiveness again.
I find joy in maxing out my energy everyday, so long as i can rest enough to regain it back the next day... but it seems that sometimes I may have expanded the limits of that seemingly endless energy.. sometimes I have lethargy that lasts for days.. there was a period of time in fact when I simply just couldn't wake up.... I just wanted to sleep on for days, weeks and months even... but now, My lethargy is kept tight. I'm slowly finding my energy again. While walking around and selling tickets and stuffing flyers in letterboxes yesterday, I contemplated why I was doing what I was doing. I mean I'm putting n so much energy and time in something that I'm not being paid for, not sure of its returns and a process that seems wholly unappreciative. In fact it is as if we are paying to volunteer what with the late payments and returns cuz of fundings.... I contemplated that... and along with the fact that my uni life seems to consist of only studying.. then I saw IT.
IT hit me. well, I can't have a cca or a uni life nor need one cuz I'm already doing something I love. This is exactly what I have devoted my energy and life to. My passion. And when i grow older, I will never have the time, energy nor the drive to do these kinda of seemingly pointless things. and this drive.. well it keeps me alive. It is like running.. til the point when you hear your own heart pounding in your ears and you feel as if your body is going to collapse any moment. That kinda adrenaline rush. The kinda of recklessness that makes youths youths. that makes us stupid because we don't think. At that moment, I Was happy that I still haven't lost all of my irresponsibility yet. It's like a comfort zone. It's shrinking and I'm willing to step out of it. but.. it still feels nice to know that it is there.... along with the lack of jadedness which is refreshing for a change.
Youth.. this is the time when we spend lotsa energy doing nothing and we are forgiven for it. when we can run from one end of town to the other screaming our joy and we will be forgiven. To go all out to try to see the lights, to experience first hand how everything feels like.
to experience first hand the many faces of love. the dizzy happiness. the quiet joy and contentment. The rollercoaster fireworks excitement. the pain of the first heartbreak. the darkness engulfing but yet the light at the end of the tunnel.
to discover and make friends who will last you forever. If they can stay thru all the drama of ur youth years... they can stay with you for a long long time to come.
To discover what you like... and throw yourself fully into it.
To inculcate a sense of self. to last you thru your years. with or without THE one.. the other half apple or circle.
Worry.. is something that we can do at every age.. so let it not get to use now.
We are young and the world is out there for us to see and for us to take.
For the o &a levels kids, go for it! You'll do well.
For the rest of us.. We have the rest of our lives in front of us. The time to take a step into the future is now. Let's not waste what will never come back later in our lives. Let's make full use of it now. Aim for the stars. Talk about your wildest dreams. Dream Lofty dreams.
heartbeat.
11:28 AM
