Santa for a day

went ard yishun passing my gifts to others.... lalal ..had lunch at ym and yq hse.... nice.. felt guilty.. caused i caused the things to topple and ming got angry at his bro... i still feel responsible for it... i hate it when he's angry.... cuz i feel so helpless... then i also 害ming zai bang his head and shoulder on the bed post... got swelling somemore.. gomen ne~... i today bring suay luck to you... really really very sorry... the gingerbread man too hard le... sobx.. i knew it.... sian... my bad my bad... but thier hse quite fun la.. .all his family members there.. his bro gf also there hahha....
nts: never wear a cap in their house.. :P

wanted to hand angie her present personally but.. she's working so ask her mom to pass it to her... glad she liked it tho....

had a small talk wif ming on the way to her house... all his fault... just when everything in my life has come to a standstill... in a nice comfrotable way.. then he go and say those things... make me so unsettled again.. the sick lurching feeling is there again la... esp when i saw his nickname just now... was so tempted to reply to his nic... but ..never la.. of course... haiz haiz.... haiz... so confused..... all his fault la.... i don't wanna be pulled into this whirlpool again...i know that there will be no ending... no result just empty rejection... nothing will ever come out of it.... but like i told ming la 有时做朋友也是一种幸福.haiz....

ar... wateva la... Merry Christmass all! I'm gonna fra lala my way outta here...

A day of Baking

As all of you may know.. I'm taking up baking as a hobby...

no.. i'm not.. really.. i'm not.. pls dun gimme cookbooks as christmas presents..... well.. basically yvonne came to my house and today we did almost one full day of baking.. pretty screwed if u ask me.. one mess up after the other... not happy with the end products... then again it may just be me.... perhaps it's my perfectionist leo acting up.... It acts up even when i go to the library and can't find a satisfactory read... NVM.. Ugly then ugly ba.. otherwise how pple know is i do one? suan le ba.....

This year, most of my presents are custom made or hand made.. The reason is because i'm a raging cheapskate... hahaha.. not entirely la... I always function on a low budget christmas... and well i figured hand made gifts are more sincere.. i'm lying.. i'm a f**king cheapskate... end ofstory... hahhaha no no.. dun start throwing tomatoes at me.. i wun pay for your tomatoes.. Na`ah... never....

Okay, i'm bored.. as obviously one can tell... me gtg (hey i just realised gtg can also stand for green tea girl.. hahahha.. *bimbotic hair flick* ) to do cards and stuff... Cuz tml it's Santa 's day... then again.. maybe i'll just rot eh? sounds way more appealing.. hahahha.. bye

fra lala?

WOOHOO TIS THE SEASON TO BE JOLLY... not.. exactly.... it's glooming over me... now is the 22nd... and i'm dreading..... i dunno y... seriously... maybe cuz after christmas glooms the aspects of a new yeqar.. or maybe it's the songs which i'm listening to now.. all.. rather.. sad... dispirited songs...then again i tink it's just me....

i really dunno what to write.. so i'll take a leaf from nic's book and put lyrics to make my entries seem longer....unfortunately... all my lyrics websites are turning against me... i'm so distraught i tink i will go jump down a well now... good bye

Dentistry... screwy

k.. i'm not that disturbed now... all in all my tooth is due for removal on the 29th of december right after i come back form genting... There's also a 5% chance of nerve injury in my lower jaw.. if my nerve is affected, it will leaves my right lower half of the face numb... It is highly possible it will be permenant... I know 5% only there's a 95% chance of no worries.. still this kinda of time jitters u up and i just needed some time to absorb.. I was very gung ho and non-chalent abt the risk in the dental office.. It was all a very sad facade cuz i just can't and will not allow my jitters to show when i'm in front of my mom... this is so typical me.. play down my fears to a cool nonchalent i-don't-care shrug... i'm still a little rattered...

My x-ray showed that my teeth isn't properly aligned.. (will put it up when i get my scanner fixed) remember how i always complain abt the spaces in my teeth and everyone where say no la... normal la... Sucks to break your theory it's not.. and due to that, when i close my mouth, the upper centre line and the lower centre line isn't inline.. it's way off.. this in turn causes my chin to be off centre... grt.. no wonder babies dislike me so much.. now i get it... i know i have a non-symmentrical face.. due to my diff sized eyes.. but now wow.. turns out my chin is not in place too.. so grt.. i must look like a hideous monster to babies.. wonderfull.. that would explain all the crying and looks of fear.. at last an answer to a mystery which has bugged me for years... To correct the problem, I have to get braces done... o crap.. apparently my dad isn't too keen on that... neither am i... but if left uncorrected, the problem may worsen and as i grow well... my face will probably be lopsided.. then surgery have to be done.. the choice lies in their hands la.. they are the ones paying... like i said earlier... seriously sux to be me...

overall... not one of the better days i could have had... but screwy... what will come wil come.. i'm not that afraid of the operation itself, it's the injection of the anathestic(excuse the typo.. i'm lazy to check) that i hate.. how can something which is supposed to stop your pain, hurt so bad? seriously... i remebered my first anathestic shot.. god that hurt... I was lying on the cold surgeon table.. everything around you was so quiet u can actually hear the doors opeening and shutting.. then came the shot.. nothing i have ever taken felt like it.. it was sheer agony and pain and torture... Trust me... I'm one of the few girls who can look at the nurse put a needle into me without even flinching... worse yet they seperate it into 3 portions.. i mean i rather it hurt badly once, then to have the same f**king pain 3 times... i cried like mad... acc. to my parents, they could hear my howling and cries from outside the surgery room.. they thought i was dying... it seemed that way acc. to my cries... I felt like i was dying too.. and it leaves an awful after taste in your mouth... yuck.. i can almost taste it in my mouth again.... 2ndly.. the aftermaths annoy me.. having your tooth surgically removed... you will have a bloody taste in your mouth for 2 to 3 weeks.. fine with me actually, if not for my love of the sun, I could have sworn i was at least half vampiric... the brushing of your teeth will be a big pain.. you can't rinse your mouth constanly nor vigoursly if not blood mite start squirting out again... your tongue can't keep coming into contact with it as the blood clot might become dislodge and again the UNSTOPPABLE bleeding.. real sweet i tell ya... and a lot more la but i can't really remeber.. i'm sure i will after the 29th... Actually, i think i'll ask the doc whether i can keep a portion of my tooth.. for keepsakes.. it will only be a portion cuz they have to cut up the tooth in several portions before removing it.. and o yea how can i forget swelling and bruising of my face.. whoopee.. i'll go to the first few days of my jc life looking like i just came out the worse of a huge gang fight.... so delightful... I wld dance in happiness but i can't so let's leave it....

on another note, tml i'm going with yvonne to my aunt's place to bai shi xue yi.. hahah... bake gingerbread man! hhopefully things will be a-okay... lalala~o well.. signing off now with my usual i tink i'll go rot to my untimely death spirit! bye...

A state of suppressed fear,dispair and discomfort

Yup that's right, i'm back from the dentist.. i'll blog later when i get rid of the suppressed emotions in me building up after the consultation... sux to be me...

Perhaps love

no not the movie though i wld love the see it.. the song perhaps love by jon denver just found the lyrics on this site: Perhaps love
The tune is playing in the background.. for those unfamiliar with John Denver, he's a country singer.. maybe pple remember him more for his song Country Road... He's great for a relaxing listen, no stress....

k i'm gonna type random addies into the address bar and see what nice sites it churns out later~

A Mane Like No Other + A Final Piece of the Puzzle


My mom has been bugging me to go rebond my hair... Something which I'm so not gonna do.. First of all.. No one tames my mane (if u are wondering abt the choice of words, I'm a leo) and i mean no one.. Can u imagine a flat mane? Where's the glory the pride the ferocious wildness in that eh? So no way... 2ndly, *qoutes emperor's new groove* NO TOUCHIE!!! Seriously you ain't coming two feet near me or my mane with those clampers... NAh ah~ so not gonna happen, so scoot before someone gets hurt. 3rdly.. My hair is meant to be unbridled.. no taming... me likey the way it is now.. infact i think it should be more toussled. *procceeds to mess up hair* okay.. I'm yakking abt ntg... so on to the next topic lalala~

today has been a more occupied day then yesterday thankfully.. was helping my bro piece his puzzle.. 500 piece in 3 hrs with 3 persons... not say fun la.. but oddly satisfying. it did fill my time so ain't gonna complain besides that puzzle is beautiful... pictures later i'm lazy to grab my cam and do all that bull.. The puzzle is lacquered and set in a frame.. i must say the choice of frame colour is ugly.. but oh well.. he's the one paying for it... After tfixing the puzzle, my bro has to book in agin so my dad drove him there while me and my mom head down to Seng Kang to my Gramma's house.. so glad to see that she can walk normally le.. yea!...watched tom yum goong there hence missing the charity show... the plot for tom yum goong was nonsense la.. so was the acting and the lines... but to see tony jaa fight liddat is amazing.. He goes into a restaurant.. shouts:'Where's my elephants?' then start whacking everyone that comes his way... Breaking arms legs severing veins here and there... Super the stylo the milo okay?! he dun even have to push the doors open.. he takes anyone that comes his way crash them into the door and their head into the glass and TADAAH~ the door is opened... hahahha... The way the fight scene is filmed is super raw action la.. damn nice... unfortunately the acting and the overall plot sux.. even tony jaa cldn't act... he came in transform from quiet peace loving guy to killer machine screaming ... but who cares? the action was good...

tml is my dental appointment le... god i sound whiny abt it... it's in all my entries... but... i dunno nervous jitters i guess... haiz...

Christmas is coming and i'm totally and utterly broke.. and i still need one more gift idea.. just one more pls let it appear in my dreams tonite... speaking of dreams, i've been having majorly weird ones.. seriously... it's freaky to the weirdest extent like wtf weird... maybe it's just me....

o yea.. turns out that number azmi no more using le.. no wonder weird weird one the msges.... and well the thing i promised my fren to do yesterday... the result wasn't too good... nor ideal. But a result is a result I guess.. I'm just hoping she isn't too sad... hopefully my gifts will cheer her up.. onegai ~ o well.. i'm off to do more blog surfing.. bye for now

Boredom Strikes In Torrents

I'm certainly not kidding nor exagerating whhen i said that.... I can't believe how amazingly bored you can get when u can't use the comp and the TV is being hogged by someone else..... arg!!!! i got thru maybe 1/2 an hour??? My gosh... arg... super fed up. seriously there must be something for me to do. this is ridiculous. Today crawled by me. Plans.. On monday I've to go for dental appointment again! Whatever. On tues or wed, i'll go buy other christmassy stuff. and maybe watch Narnia or Perhaps Love (Takeshi~(Aniki jin)). I dunno.. I need to occupy my time... ON the 23rd Yvonne coming my house making stuff... 24th I'll go do a santa and do a door to door delivery... On 25th be a nice person and spend some quality time with my family *phoeey* on the 26th, I'll be off to GENTING! First time going there, gonna stay at first world hotel.. that will keep me occupied til the 28th... meanwhile... I'm so bored!!!!!!!! arg.... i'm gonna go.... i dunno.... rot i guess...

To the depths of singapore and more!!!

Wait before i begin, let me talk about the JC Posting just to get the q. off everyone's back... I got into CJC Arts course.. No biggie... just went to the school's website.. looks pretty cool.. found out that Zhen Jie and Penny also in CJC. Cool.. At least I wun be the lonely stalker there...

k.. on to relavant stuff... okay so i didn't really go to the depth of Singapore.. Just a couple of places.. FIrst Queenstown... My dental checkup.. usual(the dentist was laughing at one of my tooth said she has never seen a wisdom tooth grown liddat before... weird~ I think Gary was right abt the whole dental urban legend thing.. first the school dentist now this... ('''-_-)) .. except that i have to come back for 2 more appointments... one is for the Xray of my tooth... the other is for the actual removal... by surgery...ow~

then from there i proceeded to orchard.. Yvonne was held up at NYJC so i headed for Paragon Metro.. Wanted to find Gary.. I ended up walking through every single floor and every single department.. all my search came to naught... so headed to find yvonne... went to taka... went to far east to buy my shoes.. =P ~happy sha la la~ then headed down to PS to buy containers and christmassy stuff.. that didn't really went well.. but there are always alternatives!! then came back home.. had dinner and as usual am bore-ing myself to death... Hols so shld not be like this.. but this happens every year... haiz... Orchard was Christmasy.. but if i hear ~On the first day of Christmas santa gave to me~... one more time, i swear i'll go bonkers...I wonder how pple working there can stand it.. seriously... it's irritating.. and for the whole day you have to hear it repeat itself over and over again.. I'm sure that there's more Christmas Carols then that no? And during CHristmas.. The promoters at orchard comes out in full force.. There's no escaping them.. Everywhere u turn u see them.. On a side note i saw Yee chen and Kai hua working today.. I think Kai hua grew taller le.. Yee chen still basically pretty much the same....

On a totally random note.. Azmi has been sending me weird msges.. I reckon that his sms-es are getting cut up.. words are missing etc... makes it look like we are having totally diff convo...weird... he just called me and hung.. i called him and well.. there was the ringing tone.. then total silence.... awfully weird....

Now i'm off to fufil a little something i promise a friend I would do... wish me luck! *crosses fingers*

A quieter singapore

O well, Nats is off to KL.. he messaged me this morning at 6:48.. telling me to enjoy a much quieter Singapore.. And I most certainly do agree.. It is indeed a much quieter Singapore without Nathan... Wonder when he'll be back? o well...I'm going to malaysia myself on 26-28 dec....

on another note, plan for today pretty much fell thru... was supposed to go with quan to see dentist.. he acc me la.. but then dad just called and said he will pick me up.. What a load of Baloney... but i tink i'll still go shopping with yvonne... buy shoes, christmas prezzies and stuff... but i'll go home to check my posting before i meet her... posting is today... o crap shit... baloney.. i dun really care where i go actually... i'm worrying abt the dental trip as well... please dun say i have to pluck my tooth... please dun say i need to remove my in-depth tooth....o well... this is me for u.. ever the avid worrier... if i dun worry right, then I wun be me anymore... =P k... i'm off for now... go blogsurf and do other stupid stuff...

Haiz...

I see you... I hear you... I can perhaps even touch you.. yet I cannot feel you. where's your heart? I dunno I can't feel it.. Isn't that just so sad... I'm with you yet at the same time you're not with me... I long to let you know that dun be afraid to cry.. there's no need to set up your derfnces.. But those words can never come out of my mouth.. cuz you will only try to act more tough and set up more defences.. there's nothing.. absolutely nothing I can do...god...

A Brand New Start!

hmm.. decided to start over make a new one.. reason being o well.. forget it.. nvm.. i mite go tinker with the other stuff a bit more later maybe ask yvonne to help me design one.. but for now, i'll stick with this... hmm... let's see if i can get decent some updates goin eh?

finally i'm back from the chalet and have rested well and gained complete control over the computer. Chalet was fun.. the hot tubs were relaxing.. i can just sit there all day.. the pool was soso... too much kiddy pee i tink... haha jkjk.. the arcade was sad.. too smal. .then again, i'm neva a big fan of arcades... the bowling alley was good.. i neva knew bowling can be such fun tra la la~... the chalet as usual was extremely comfortable.. you just feel so relaxed there.. ahh.. had an sorta overnite conf with ding nats and nic.. ended up sleeping in the kitchen when my phone batt went flat at 4++.. cuz i din wanna disturb anyone.. i woke up every half an hour or so... finally at 6 i decided to give it up and i crawled upstairs to brush my teeth and catch the sun rise... Unfortunately the sunrise thing so did not happen.... haiz.. went to catch twenty winks after that.. 2 hours of glorious sleep... then had my breakfast and went back to sleep for another hour during which my cuzzins were making a total racket downstairs... my parents found out that i had the overnight conference courtesy of my aunts and uncles... thank you all.. but strangely enough i tink they are beginning to treat me like a normal human.. sure my mom went on with the usual nagging.. but that's okay, i grew up to that i just have to leave my auto response off and let my brain leave the building... that's all... but my dad totally din mention anything abt it... the closest thing was perhaps last nite when he asked do u have a bf? then me being completely honest said the truth the whole sad truth...no.. * igave him a raised eyebrow questioning look* then he went on like you are still young something liddat... wayeva.. maybe he is pissed deep down.. i dunno... i'm appreciating the normal human treatment though...

As for today, well i got back from kbox.. had quite some fun there... sang all the weird songs.. seriously when i say weird i mean way off weird.. we sang hokkien songs and many weird and farni stuff....and then we came back.. and so here i am bored... haiz

o well i'll go tinker with my blog... later... much..