Fall in fall out.. I feel like I'm on a roundabout....

Once again... kass, let's row our boats together.... no more no more.. I will not allow myself to.. not anymore... delusion lies pain.. come on out! This is the time for you to reign again......

I draw my own line again.. Only this time with a dagger and in my own blood......

There are things that I've once sworn to take with me to my grave never to speak of it... But I forget, i always do.. that things comes around full circle. it came crawling out recently, twice.. TWICE, i nearly spilled my guts out and told everything. But how could I bear to hurt the one that i've promised to protect with all I have? How can I protect that person from everything else, yet turn around to hurt that person with the very two hands i've sworn to protect tt person with? I couldn't do it..... not now not ever.... So this time, I'm setting my foot down again.. that this matter will never past thru my lips not even til my dying day.. no matter how much of an inkling that person have, I'll never say it out.. I'll never confirm the extent of it to that person.. because I can never bring myself to hurt that person... not then not now not ever......

OK... so i've been very off since i came back for pahang.. I'm sorry everybody that i snapped at you or i freaked you guys out or i dunno... wasn't being me...... There's no excuse for my behavior..... I'm sorry....

Paahang was super relaxing... it was fantastic the people i met there, the pace of llife everything.. makes one wonder whether one should just cut off city life and live like that.... i would post pictures but i'm a lazy bugger... pahang was amazingly beautiful.. minus the blood sucking mosquitoes.

Drama camp WAS THE LOVE! drama u guys rock to the max! wished the camp could be longer.... but i thoroughly enjoyed myself.. a gazillion cheers to our wonderful exco + TIMMY! for doing such a great job!!!!!! It was fantastic! The j1 and j2s really got to know each other more and better and woots wet games was love! Joel's massaging was love, audrey's back scrub was the love, everything was love!!!!!! PIzza hut was love.. the pple i was with was love.. the groups were love(red team and THALIA) woots... Spinning around and star fall was love no matter how cheap thrill and retarded it is...ps. AUDREY"S AIM IS LOVE

DRAMA you guys are LOVE! We will never forget!








Thought of the day: The human touch and warmth is often too alluring and dangerous so much so that it can suck you in and trap you there with no where to run to. Maybe it's a biological thing cuz since the oldern days people seek poeple's warmth for comfort, for love, for lust...... sometimes you feel so much like just sinking in, but you can't yet in that moment you just wanna throw away all cares.. and you want it so bad that it's scary.... yes human touch can be so tempting that it is scary as well.

I don't delete my posts... because what's done is done there's no use..... Maybe I dun hate her as much i would like to.... maybe.... whatever.. I'm too tired... too tired of everything. too tired of me......I draw my own line...... and trap myself on the inside. killing me......taking me down..... no more no more.. I draw the line....... I'm starting to hate me....... ear oyu phpya own?

So shittiness do roll over and acculmulate.... last last night i came damn close to punching someone.. and yesterday i came super close to slapping a certain someone as well..... I hate him for doing all those stuff and I hate her.. but i hate her more than him.. ecause everytime i'm that close to letting things pass she screws it up again! I think he is just sad and he just disgust me... but SHE.. She just won't stop playing games She just won't stop it.... If you don't know who you are, get a hint... Stop huting the people around me.. because right now all i need for me to hit you is just a little prod.... so what if we all knw you can kick my ass so much faster and harder? I can do way more things to you psychologically..... Right now i find no sympathy for you none at all......

NVM... angstiness aside... yesterday was last day of term thank goodness... Many things were love yesterday despite shittiness . drama we had b'day celebration and the MTV was love!!! Sondra did a great job! and the actors were love!!!! super cute! then after drama we went down to ali's place to prepare and ali's mom cooked tuna pasta <3 ... then rockafella came!!! screamed our hearts out.. though we only managed to do a bit of moshing beofre TJS and the council pple stopped us.. lost my belt buckle whilst moshing.. wanted to jump around so badly and lose myself.. the bands this year were so good!!!!! and the guest bands were <3! had fun thanks to the company i was with... hehe... love u guys many many!!!!*you guys who I'm talking about* photos are all uploaded onto http://takaoryo.multiply.com <3.. wanted to do a photo post todaybut was too lazy... got home ard 12 last nite.. went with pet and ali to drink at macs and biatch ard a bit.... >.< heheh then went home exhausted.. Gosh I love my friends at CJ. We are so the drama... Cjc mite just be the best years of my life(not academically of course) THe group is home(and always will be) whilst my cj loves are the drama mamas in my life.... woke up real late liek ard 11 plus this morning.. and now my gramma's over at my place.. I'll try to upload the rockafella videos on youtube soon.

O and for those who dunno yet, I'll be away at pahang from 13th to 18th <3.. even though I'll be missing the chalet.. sry guys.... really am >.<

ok... I went to school and helped painted the banner.. in the end everyone left except for binni who is left alone with the drying banner... Guess what there's no CCA bazaar... basket.. pity the exco all the efforts for nothing... stupid council....

then i went to buy present and go for acupunture.. god i hate it.. it doesn't really hard but the nervousness is growls.... lol

yesterday was cheenapok/ fangirl day... no. 1 cuz fangirling over farenheit and playing their songs loudly in the canteen. no.2 we get back our a level's results. no.3 cuz the j3s came back so everyone went to oogle at their respectibe GODS. *I never see my Shen.. sigh.. but i saw cheenapok* then we went to eat at Crystal Jade <3 bahahaha..... then walk ard taka Iknow i wanna get new books~~~~~

o and i embarassed myself totally infront of elephant yesterday.. cuz i had to tackle yongsheng to the quadrangle floor cuz of the drama mtv thingy then he was on the second floor looking... sigh.. miss unglam indeed....
o wells tt's all for now toodles~

Serena's Guide to how to feel like a turd of shit in less than 5 mins

1) wake up late for a drama filming thingy....
2)cursing ur way outta bed at yourself
3) prepare urself and just abt to step outta the door WHEN you recieve a phone call that says they'll postponed the filming til monday cuz they have no time to wait 45 mins for me to reach there and start.(I'm a retard)
4) Have lessons on monday until 5.....


I'm a turd of shit.. I'm so sorry Sondra, Rinda.. and everyone else..........