hello ... you.... It's been a couple of months... I'm not quite sure what to do with you now... I know why you came though... your visits surprise me no longer... I wish I can embrace you like a familiar friend.. but I can't..
everything is too plausible... and too dark to contemplate... A sense of helplessness.. you stiffen the air around me... so much so that it becomes a choke hold.
It would be so easy to slip.. to slip back to you and let everything else drown itself out. but I won't.. I can't.. for i may lose.. and i can't afford to lose to you.. definitely not to you of all things.
You're darting along the outskirts of my mind now. eager to break me down. eager to find a way in. but I will run from you. and maybe oneday..
I may even overcome and kill you...

Hello my bittersweet friend... welcome to step out of my life.