html> Let Imagination Take Flight. image
Saturday, November 29, 2008,

just read ali's post... coincidently... I'm experiencing something almost like that... I'm forgetting your face as well... There's a struggle inside me to dig up our old photos and see you.. just to remember you the way i used to. The way your eyes used to crinkle at the sides when you smile and tease me, the way your mouth curves... right down to the shape of your face which i used to be able to trace in my mind. However, I'm not sure I want to remember... I am finally forgetting as well... From needing you so much, to wanting you, and finally to realize I can breathe and still live with or without you. It was a long process... and I missed out a lot while getting out of it...
and I don't wanna miss out on anything more...

Naathan asked me sometime ago, whether I'm over you or not. And I said yes, I am. which is nothing short of the truth. But regardless of that, sometimes I still wished we both tried a little more... be a little less passive. Then maybe I would have had you even if it was just for a while but that would be enough...
Silly me.

Natalie and I were talking about special feelings a month ago when we were supposed to be studying haha (one of our unproductive days) and I recalled our skinship(?) would you call it that? haha. And it felt good.. but it made my heart ache.And it made me wanna have you again. But I know.. possesion isn't love. I don't love you.. not anymore.. I just want you. But then you and I are both different now... very different... And I want the you of the past. And I can't have that... All I can have is our memories... of us frozen in the past...
maybe I'm forgetting your face... but I would never want to forget our memories

Maybe I've been lonely for too long.. aye... naathan's right I need to go get a date... aye... The lonely month of november and december ain't helping my vibes as well. O wells... What to do what to do... haha... I think I need to go sleep now... My eyes are drooping and I've got a long day tml.

p.s: hope this makes up for the lacklustre entries the past few days.. this entry sums up sorta half of what i was feeling in mid oct to now.

1:30 AM